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COVID Vaccines: The Only Thing Not Stolen, Embezzled In Cameroon

Dear Ngwa,

How norh, my brother? It’s been long again. How are you and family? Accept my wishes of good luck and prosperity for this New Year.

As for us this way, we are living in despair. Nothing is changing for the better – everything is getting worse. People are continuously dying in the war which your champion has refused to call an end to. We have had too much. Our hearts are aching.

Upon all of that, prices are getting to unaffordable level. The hike in prices of basic commodities, especially food, may lead to general hunger crisis which can lead to an explosion similar to the 2008 Hunger War that almost sent your regime packing.

But, instead of doing something tangible about the situation, the regime through the Minister of Commerce, is bringing some cheap palliatives like monthly (end of month) selling of food stuff in some chief towns of the Regions. What do the people in the hinterlands, the masses get? Nothing! They continue to suffer under the scotch of the war and hunger.

Nevertheless, we are overwhelmed with the happenings over there; fire here fire there, deaths here deaths there. We are beginning to suspect that it is the wrath of the gods. The gods must be angry. How can people going to enjoy life instead lose their lives? How can people going to watch football in an event you guys spent taxpayers’ hard-earned money to organise, end up dying? These are very bad signs. These must be signs that the gods are angry with the evil and hardship that the regime has meted on the people for 40 years and still counting.

My brother, honestly tell me how you guys have been managing affairs during the on-going AFCON such that no Cameroonian player contracts COVID-19, and how it affects only other teams, especially when they are about to play against Cameroon. Tell me the secret and we can market it to those countries where COVID-19 is dealing with them. That will fetch us a lot of money, you know. We know the whole world is waiting for accountability on the COVID-19 funds that you guys have received. We should be careful because, if we try something in that direction, we would be caught hand-in-the-bag.

Hei! That reminds me.

Since Cameroonians don’t want to take the COVID vaccines, why don’t we steal them and sell and make some money? Incidentally, that is the only thing that we have not heard that has been stolen or embezzled in this country. Perhaps, it is because nobody wants to buy the vaccines. I am damn sure that if there were a market somewhere for the vaccines, they would have been stolen and or embezzled by now.

That is how laptops meant for Cameroon university students found their way on the market in Chad and the Central Africa Republic.

I hear you guys have relaxed visiting witchdoctors in view of expected cabinet reshuffle and the threat by Nkukuma that embezzlers would be punished. Don’t bother. Such things would come only after the AFCON. I am sure he is so busy celebrating the fact that he has finally hosted the AFCON. After that, don’t ask me what will happen.

Till then, so long.

Yours truly,

Mbella

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